brotherly love?

brotherly love
Current mood: confused

tonight i was taken back by a spiritual experience I'v never felt before. Tonight we had a party for my brother Nathan's graduation from Multnomah. The party went good, and I was enjoying the company. and then it happened.

My parents I guess peparped a DVD video chronicling my brothers life from birth until now. It was nice and i was looking back at all our memories as kids together. What was i was not expecting was what came next...

The song "the line between the two" was playing by Mark Harris in the video, and listening to the lyrics and watching the film, I started to tear up.

Now, it's not those "I'm gonna try and cry to make it look all emotional". These were real authentic tears, deep from within my heart, i was weeping inside, and i honestly don't know why. I've only ever experienced tears like this once before in my life, and that was when my grandparents passed away, and one other instance in life which would be to long to write about here. I'm not one to cry very much. I'm just not wired that way emotionally. I write, I think, I conceive, I ponder. Music is my form of expression! But for some reason, these tears came, and they came naturally and authentically. It was raw, real, and devout. This was true, and it was beautiful.

was it out of love for my family? Was God finally working on my heart and seeing that my relationship with my brother was not the best? I don't know. All I know is that i felt the Spirit of God upon me at that moment. Was it convicting? Sure. But I'd rather know what it all meant. It's a deep theological struggle within to find why this happened and what it means... it's a big question mark in my mind right now.